After two weeks of fluctuating amniotic fluid, Dr. Daly decided to induce me. I'm not sure how necessary it was, but as we arrived at St. Johns at midnight, I was ready to meet our baby girl. It seems she was ready too, because a few minutes before starting the pitocin, I had a few contractions on my own. By 7:00 am they gave me an epidural and then Dr. Matsanaga came in to break my waters. After that it was smooth sailing. My contractions came every two minutes, strong and steady according to the monitor. Contractions that thanks to the epidural I was blissfully unaware of. The difference made me realize that the epidural I had very late with Tallulah mustn't have worked at all.
By 10:30 I was 10 cm dilated and by 11:30 I was ready to push. And then in the blink of an eye there she was--our beautiful Beatrix, all 7 lbs. 9 oz. of her, yarling her little lungs out, pink and perfect. She came out head and hand first. "We call that reaching for the credit card," said Dr. Daly.
It's been said a trillion times because it's true: birth is breathtaking, otherworldly and pure magic. How was this tiny creature finally here, fully formed and ready to start her life? The rarefied air that surrounds a second birth is even stronger, at least it was for me, because Beatrix looks so much like her sister. Impossible not to compare, impossible almost to distinguish the moment from that of three and a quarter years ago.
But then I hold her for longer and she is her own person already. A slightly different nose, the beginnings of a wave in her hair and a willingness to nurse that Tallulah didn't have for days after she was born.
And now she's home with us and our family feels complete. "Now there are four of us, mama," Tallulah likes to tell me, almost as if to say: see this is how it's supposed to be. And in between the hard moments, when Tallulah doesn't seem quite as sure that having a baby sister was such a good idea, she says "Thank you for my baby sister. I love her."
After a few nights of feedings every 45 minutes, Beatrix is now sleeping for three or four hour stretches and I told Gavin this morning that I don't think I had this much sleep towards the end of my pregnancy. She is contented to sleep in the day in her swing and only cries when she's hungry.
I stare at her face and her tiny head as she sleeps and still can't believe she's here.
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